#NP Star - Colde
Today, June 4, 2025, in one of skyscrapers in South Jakarta, Indonesia, with unforeseeable weather..
I still can feel how hot the sun was shining in this morning, while I needed to head to work and did all urgent errands. But look at the sky now, it's gloomy, cloudy, hmm freezing? But not as cold as my dream country today, Australia..
There are tons of things happen lately, even my head doesn't able to count it all. I started this year, 2025, with an extremely positive energy. I was super confident with my future, I was super energized, I was ready to go to wars, I was.. But all those feelings sometimes couldn't bear the pain I hid. I thought if I had a healthy love story, it wouldn't give me sad stories and would light up my life, but I am totally wrong. My future, my plans, my ambition, it hits harder than I've ever thought..
I forget if I have mentioned it on my blog here, but I tried to make those dreams come true since 2022, counted as the 3rd year of my pursuing the hard-to-predict dreams. I had 3 closest friends who I met at EF and all of them are at the place they long for. I have no one, I'm alone, I struggle only with myself now. BUUUTTT, let's catch some hot news up!!!
I finally made up my mind and decided to give LPDP a shot! I enrolled their partial funding program and finished all required steps, such as administration and interview. As now, I'm waiting for the final announcement which will be out on June 19. I asked my friend about the time, and they said it's usually announced at night. Soooooo, please please with my luck!
Subsequently, I also tried to apply for AAS and prepared it super in time so I wouldn't feel burnt out. Tell you what, I found out that my TOEFL iBT wasn't meet the requirement on the 20-ish days before the due date!!! lololololol... I felt so devastated and cried out loud in front of my hubby (thank you bububb for cheering me up). But with the support from my husband and close friends, I eventually took the IELTS test with 12-ish preparation days....
Anddddd look at meeee, I got overall 7.5 with speaking 7 writing 7 (it's God's help) listening 7.5 and reading 8.5 (LMAOOO). I studied so hard to fix my reading since my 2 previous english test (TOEFL iBT and IELTS GT) gave my the lowest score among other sections on reading. AND I FINALLY MADE IT AND AM ABLE TO SUBMIT MY APPLICATION TO AAS!!! THANK GOD THANK GOD THANK GOD!!
Wise people said we need to compare ourselves to ours in the past, not to other people's life. But the thing is I am quite comfortable looking up at my high school friend. She, at least from my perspective, is living in the life I want to have. I'm envy, but in a positive way. She lights me up as if she told me to not give up. Besides, looking at how far I've come, I'm really proud of my english LOLLLLLL. I even don't have to think twice to write sentences in English. It's okay Al, sometimes you need to be confident and accept the result of your hard work!!!!!!! it might be not perfect, but it can help you to study at the university that you've been dreaming offffff.............
Then, here we are, I'm still waiting for the result while revising my current motivation letter for the next batch of LPDP. I indeed don't let my hope up in purpose. As long as I tried my best, it's okay to encounter another failure (talking to myself). But God, please, make my plan becomes easier and feasible for me to execute.....
Sometimes I feel like I will def miss my current habit now, as a corporate legal, living in the city I love, with tons of shopping malls lolololol. Bismillah, I'm ready, living with the wait for only God knows how long... Bismillah, 2025, please be my year.
ps: thank you for reading. I don't re-check my writing so please bare my mistakes lol. Ciao~
Warmest regards,
Al :)
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