Hi..
As always, I usually come back to this blog since I feel blue, and it happens rn. Cuaca Jakarta belakangan ini gak menentu, kalau terik rasanya panas banget, tapi begitu sore selalu mendung. Gak menentu memang and sadly that's why I feel. Idk what's God's plan for me, but it's extremely confusing (and sometimes hurtful). It makes me keep questioning him, why? when? how? God, please...
Aku lupa entah aku pernah ceritain atau belum, aku sudah jadi Junior Manager nih di kantorku. Beberapa minggu lalu (atau bulan ya), aku dapet cubical aku sendiri. Way more private, way more comfortable. However, I somehow feel that I don't belong here. I wanna level up, I wanna pursue my dream, to live abroad...
I start losing senses of living in here, I'm getting sad of my friends leaving Indonesia either to study or work abroad, keep coming back telling when my time comes. I face so many failures, rejections, and so on. My feeling was sometimes good when I got any pathways to go out and I think the universe don't let me go, it turned out disappointing...
Aku sadar sih kalau hidup aku sekarang itu mungkin aja hidup yang diimpi-impikan orang lain, but this statement doesn't heal this severe disappointment. I keep wandering out and telling myself that everything's gonna be fine. But, I don't know how long I can keep standing up.
